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Trust Factor: Working With an Out-of-State Caregiver

 How can you be a caregiver from a distance? What practices can caregivers implement to meet the needs of the individual?

    My step-father is my caregiver. Yet, we live in different states. Still, he's my caregiver and we practice a great system to accommodate my needs especially in crisis.


The Trust Factor

There are a few elements to maintaining a healthy working partnership- trust and communication. It's challenging at times but manageable.

    Trust demands understanding, loyalty, and respect. Whether I'm well or not he listens to me. For example, when I was last hospitalized I gave him direction on who I want to care for my son until I returned home.

    We've had three-way conversations with my doctor. My step-father knows me well and can identify subtle signs when I need more support to share that information with my doctor.


Communication is Key

I've sent him selfies on the phone and he could tell by looking at my eyes when I seem to be stressed and heading towards imbalance. My eyes appear different when I'm not well. Others described them as appearing glazed over and looking into a daze.

    Just reviewing my text message grammar is more evidence that I'm doing well or struggling. Everybody has a style of writing and texting. Mine style shifts whenever I lack those little pieces of grammar like my commas. I send a lot of text messages at once without giving him a chance to respond. That's when I'm manic.


Implementing Crisis Management from a Distance

Once in crisis, I asked him if he wanted me to go to the hospital or not. He said yes, and I listened to him and went to the hospital. I changed my mind due to my poor judgment and that's a long story but it shows how I consider his input.

    It's important my caregiver knows whose in my circle. He has their contact information in the event there's an emergency and needs to reach out.

    In the past, a friend of ours took me to the hospital. We waited in the lobby for over three hours to go and do an intake interview to be admitted.

    After my hospitalization, my step-father and I stayed in frequent communication. Checking in with each other more than usual until my wellness improved.


Conclusion

Being a caregiver is tough. Also, challenging supporting someone from a distance. There are a few approaches to maintaining trust and communication. As a caregiver it's important to have the contact information of those persons close to us.

    Try to do a video call or get a selfie to get an idea if we're taking care of ourselves or struggling. Pay attention to the little things such as text messaging grammar or any changes in communication styles.

    When in crisis have a trusted individual escort us to the hospital and wait for us to be admitted into the care of the facility. To avoid us from changing our mind and leaving the hospital before being seen and escalating situations.

    I hope these tips will help you enhance your methods of care from a distance. If you're already doing these things I would like to know any additional tips to maintaining a good caregiver relationship from afar.



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