Skip to main content

My Version of Hope- A Poem

My fingers were itching to share more about my experience on managing mental illness, to write and to share my thoughts, my therapy. I let my mind wonder and started writing a poem. I don't have a lot of experience writing poems but I ventured off into another form of expression. Below is the poem I wrote:

My Version of Hope
by Ashley Smith

I feel a better me is yet to come,  
No more naive decisions that make me feel dumb. 
Limitless opportunities are on the way,
I believe I know what I want and how not to stray. 

I see myself as the individual I long to be- free, confident, and classy, 
My experiences cannot stop me,
Not schizophrenia and depression nor anxiety.
Because ingrained in me is an overcomer of adversity.

Now I understand how to strive in my recovery,
But I cannot take all the credit when it took a caring party.
I give thanks to my treatment team, family and peers,
Including those online that opened up about their fears.

And I will never overlook my miracle from above,
Forever recovering and living a life I am proud of.
My faith keeps me going as did my mom.
And now that she is gone, for others, I will remain strong.

Within my spirit hope shed its light, 
Now I aspire to share the fight.
Join me as I dare to put myself out there,
And overcome the stigma that we bear. 

Hold them accountable, 
Oh yes, for the lies and propaganda that so freely is told,
Together we can contribute to the solution,
I urge you, to continue to speak, write, and demolish the confusion. 



Kokyo David Young said…
This is truly a recovery..may I copy to a friend who had made her way out of the long tunnel....I've been out for a number of years and it is FINE!

David Holloway said…
I'm very fond of poetry, as you know and this one stands out, it's very touching.
Ashley Smith said…
Yes, Kokyo. Also send your friend a link to my blog. Thank you.
Ashley Smith said…
Thank you so much David! That makes me feel very good... And its great to hear from you.
Dawn said…
Hi Ashley,

I love the spirit of your poem and it really resonates with me. I can identify with so much of it.

Thanks for sharing and many blessings to you.
Anonymous said…
Ashley as always thank you.I truly admire your strength and courage. You are an amazing woman and give me so much more confirmation in the faith I have for my boyfriend who lives with schizophrenia and is struggling. I believe in him fully. He is really in a rough spot now but working towards what he needs to do for his recovery. His "voices" have been very loud lately and all he longs for at the moment is for quietness. My question for you is do the auditory hallucinations ever fully quit with recovery and medication?

Ashley Smith said…
Thank you for the warm blessings, Dawn!

Ashley Smith said…
Hi Nicole, to answer your question it depends on the individual and medication. For some individuals the voices persists despite the medication. For others the voices stop with the right medication.
Anonymous said…
This is a beautiful poem. Thank you so much for posting. I would like to know if you attend any support groups in Atlanta. If so, where are they located? I am looking for support for my daughter. It is a daily struggle for her.
Ashley Smith said…
Hi, I do attend support groups in Atlanta, check out the website to find one in your area.
Jae Hill said…
Hi Ashley,

I was happy to find your blog. I also am an African American woman living with a mental illness called Schizoaffective Disorder. I also wanted to begin my way of educating people about my illness because I have learned so much along the way. To see that you have done it gives me hope that I can do it too. Thanks for the inspiration.

Jennifer Hill
Ashley Smith said…
Thank you, Jennifer Hill!
Gail Russell said…
I really like this poem. I think what we all want is truth, understanding and freedom to be ourselves. Thank You for writing this. Although my experiences with Schizophrenia have not been what was expected I still have hope for the future and belief in the people who surround me.

Popular posts from this blog

Religious Preoccupation

After a talk, a woman asked me if my faith contributed to my recovery because she noticed that I mentioned it throughout my speech. In addition to that, she told me that she observed people with faith as having a better outcome in their mental health recovery.

First, I came from a family with Christian values. My faith in God started to get intense during the latter years of high school, which in my opinion, is when I started having symptoms. In my experience religion plays a major role in my mental health- its delusions, its coping skills, and in my recovery. In medical terms they call my religious rituals and delusions "religious preoccupation."

Before I was diagnosed I was highly religious. In fact, I wanted to be an evangelist and to go to a Christian college. I would read my Bible for several hours a day throughout the day, listen to hymns, and meditate. Sometimes I would ignore people if they wanted my attention while I was meditating I was in such deep thought. Also, I …

How Can I Support Someone with Persecution Delusions

Recently, a reader asked how to support, or what to say to someone who has persecutory delusions and confides in them. I thought this question was profound. By investigating this question it could help so many people maintain or develop a trusting relationship with their relative, friend, or client, etc. I asked the opinion of my therapist, and she gave some pointers and asked me to remember a time when I was psychotic and what could someone have said to me to make me feel more comfortable...

When I was at my peak of psychosis everything was a sign from God- that truck making a U-turn meant go back, that taxi cab driver telling me to stay out of trouble meant he was in on it too. While I was psychotic I heard conflicting voices. When I would ask someone a question on the phone the voices would give different information. I was extremely paranoid. And almost everyone was a threat. I couldn't confide in relatives because they would tell my secrets, I couldn't trust friends becaus…

Lack of Trust: A Byproduct of My Mental Illness

In this entry, I'll share my experiences with Schizophrenia in regards to feeling lack of trust in others, paranoia, and isolation.... I remember my many episodes with Schizophrenia where I felt uneasy because of lack of trust in others. In the past, isolation was a giant bullying me around.

Sometimes my mind would take me to a place of fear, hurt, and an unsettling spirit, which started with what seemed like a strange look, or a different feeling around an individual, when in reality it was another symptom of my undiagnosed illness- paranoia. My paranoia was rampant and dictated my life prior to experiencing a crisis, which led me to jail and into forced treatment and to receive an official diagnosis of Schizophrenia in 2007.

In other words, my illness created enemies in my mind. For instance, I once believed my favorite kin was against me and I felt like she wanted me to fail, and I eventually thought she was conspiring to harm me. However, she never said anything to imply these f…