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Prevent Your Diagnosis from Becoming A Deal-breaker: Therapy Starts The Conversation on Disclosure

How did you disclose your diagnosis? Did your condition build a closer bond, or become a deal-breaker? There are many reasons for disclosure in relationships. Disclosing can be uncomfortable, however, it gets better. Disclosing my diagnosis is a choice, which is also an opportunity to share one of my greatest vulnerabilities, and powerful testimonies.

Generally, disclosure enhances my relationship with my friend and partner. My experience disclosing has become easier, and easier, over the course of recovery since age 20. Now age 32, I have enough experience to provide helpful insight to peers as an advocate, friend, and partner in a relationship.

My schizoaffective disorder, which combines bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia, is manageable. However, my mental health concerns demand a lot of attention. A common symptom is  mood swings. Having moody persons in my life is frustrating, because based on their mood they may either engage, disconnect, or create confusion based on poor communication, and unknown emotions that include triggers. Unfortunately, my diagnosis makes me more susceptible to having mood swings, which is annoying, but also a way of life, which demands coping skills to better manage.

Triggers are acts, or events, which stir reactions and consequences. Generally, my symptoms may  become triggered by stressful situations such as financial concerns, disagreements, and unexpected setbacks, or major problems, losses, and crisis. However, stress, triggers, and moodiness is a part of life! Yet, I do not have to settle.

When I feel triggered it disrupts my mood, and creates concerns. I manage my diagnosis with support from my treatment team, therapist, and support system, or friends and family.

In the beginning I needed guidance on ways to disclose. I addressed these concerns in therapy. Disclosing my diagnosis requires awareness, opportunity, and desire to take relationship further. I learn more about my diagnosis by articulating concerns in therapy. However, educating others on how my diagnosis effects me is an important factor in disclosure. Whenever I disclose I understand this process incorporates question and answer, stigma-busting, and education about how triggers effect my symptoms and outcomes.

Therefore, I aim to build self-awareness, practice self-care, and request additional support. First, I need support as an individual in recovery. My symptoms can be hard to detect, because they effect my mood and thoughts. My therapist helps me stay aware and accountable as does my support system.

A great reason for my disclosure is to capture warning signs that symptoms are becoming concerning. In the past, my moodiness alerted friends and partner. I am still learning how to better manage symptoms. If my friend or partner were unaware of my diagnosis these symptoms would become a significant problem for relationships.

Another reason for disclosure is to support a lasting relationship, and prevent my diagnosis from becoming a deal-breaker. Therefore, educating my partner about my diagnosis is a must for me, which I learned how to articulate.

In other words, my needs in relationships include: disclosure to support my recovery, and for understanding of my challenges, in order, to have room for imperfection, and to grow in the relationship. Relationship requires effort to function in unison smoothly. My relationships work better when I disclose.

I learned the benefits of disclosure from experience. However, as mentioned disclosure can be uncomfortable, and demands awareness and opportunity. To learn how to disclose a peer may engage in therapy for tips as I did, or get first-hand knowledge from peers. Some peers, caregivers (or care-partners) do not have access to these resources. Fortunately, the internet is creating access for people where traditional therapy (in-person) sessions did not work, but online therapy may be an option.

Therapy engages peers and care-partners for the wellness of the relationship. After an individual gains tools to interact, educate, and to disclose the next part of the process is timing, which varies. As we know, a lot of people do not want to disclose for various reasons that include: stigma, negative stereotypes, and fear of rejection, or another deal-breaker. I choose to disclose sooner than later to minimize rejection, and to focus on persons who are willing to explore my challenges, and get to know me for me.

For peers and partners therapy may be a great way to learn more about the diagnosis, oneself, and how to engage the relationship in a healthier manner. Enjoy the people in our lives, because life is stressful, and having a supportive friend, and partner can make recovery, and life, a little better and happier!



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