Skip to main content

Waking Up Tired

What do you do when you wake up tired? Lately, I have been struggling with depression. My depression is not the result of the changes in season, mood swings, PMS, nor breakdown in relationships, or loss. My invisible brain disorder is going through another one of its phases.

Sometimes I wake up tired. In spite of medication adherence, I am challenged by my depressive state of being. I practice self-care daily, but lose energy by the late afternoon and am forced to shut myself down early at night. It is not fair; living with limited energy, taking restless naps, and repeating my health plan that is not completely pulling me out of this depressive state.

My days are short but my fight is still strong. Yes, I may wake up tired, and do not carry out plans, but I get back on track and try my best to not give up.

Still, I press forward. I surf social media for encouragement. I drink more water and give myself time to embrace self-care demands. Moreover, I pray that this low energy leaves me.

Finally, I am not at my best but I am still trying. I choose to challenge my invisible storm. I may not win every time, but I am still in the fight. I understand waking up tired is just for a moment, therefore, I continuously try to overcome this internal battle. Recovery is not always about winning, but simply going through the process and trying again and again until a better day arrives and better you shows up.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Religious Preoccupation

After a talk, a woman asked me if my faith contributed to my recovery because she noticed that I mentioned it throughout my speech. In addition to that, she told me that she observed people with faith as having a better outcome in their mental health recovery. First, I came from a family with Christian values. My faith in God started to get intense during the latter years of high school, which in my opinion, is when I started having symptoms. In my experience religion plays a major role in my mental health- its delusions, its coping skills, and in my recovery. In medical terms they call my religious rituals and delusions "religious preoccupation." Before I was diagnosed I was highly religious. In fact, I wanted to be an evangelist and to go to a Christian college. I would read my Bible for several hours a day throughout the day, listen to hymns, and meditate. Sometimes I would ignore people if they wanted my attention while I was meditating I was in such deep thought. Also, I...
15 comments
Read more

The Path that God Chose for Me

I am not upset that I have schizophrenia, this is the life God chose for me. The other day I was telling my mother I am glad I took a break from school, but I wish I had taken it sooner so that I could have recognized my illness sooner. She reminded me that everything happens for a reason, and that had I took a break sooner I would not have been able to know my full potential in college and in life. I went to college and got really involved in it through sports, internships, and mentoring peers. I was involved in so many things, school, church, home, friends, family, you name it! She was right, I am glad I took the path I took. I did not always have schizophrenia, but now that I have it I will work hard to overcome it. I try not to use the word schizophrenic because that identifies the person by their illness and that isn't fair. I am Ashley and I have schizophrenia. I will not let it limit my potential or define who I am. I can and will overcome these symptoms with medication, the...
23 comments
Read more

Learning more about my Symptoms and Diagnosis

A few weeks ago I asked the question: "Mania or Something Else?" ... Well, I got an answer to my question, plus some! I visited my doctor a couple of weeks ago and he confirmed I was experiencing "hypo-mania," which is what fellow blogger assumed I was experiencing. To my understanding hypo-mania is similar to mania however not as extreme where incidents lead to harsh consequences like arrests. When I was in this state of mind I was obsessed with working on my laptop, I blogged more frequently than usual, and I felt like I was on an upward swing, which was a little unusual, this lasted for about a week and then quickly spiraled down into irritability. After sharing how I was feeling with my doctor we tweaked my medication... I am glad I have a better understanding of myself, now I know how to identify my hypo-mania moments! However, my discussion with my doctor lead to another indept discussion- I shared previous moments of hypo-mania which as a result m...
20 comments
Read more