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Breaking through Seasons of Depression

After changing my employer, getting a puppy, going into autopilot with an extensive self-care routine, increasing therapy sessions, and adjusting medications with my doctor; I am feeling a little better. Life is challenging, however, managing symptoms like depression is even more stressful. Depression made the heaviness of my low energy and fatigue dreadfully disappointing season after season. It tried to kidnap my creativity, daily routines like cooking and cleaning, joy of spending more time with family, and my ability to be me. Fighting symptoms requires a lot of attention. It’s another job that you only advance in when you work overtime for a longer period. Now, I am finally starting to experience the hard work that my health team, support system, and me have done to continue to press forward.


Prior to my diagnosis, I avoided medications for general use such as headaches and allergies. However, with the stigma of the diagnosis, I’ve tried to manage with minimal doses earlier in my recovery. I battled with my doctor on many occasions to avoid experimenting with different medications to fight my brain condition, even despite side effects in the past. With symptoms like depression all that medication avoidance is obsolete now.

 

Fortunately, I’ve been with my psychiatrist for years and am adapt to his recommendations for medication adjustments. Over the years, I tried different antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, anxiety meds, and anti-depressants. To get to this moment right here, I utilized years of different relaxation techniques coupled with medication management to improve recovery. For instance, I walked at least 20 minutes every day and sometimes twice a day, kept a diary and realistic journal that is a live record of tasks and activities completed, maintained mindfulness of the need to rest, listened to uplifting talks, and spent more time in prayer and meditation.

 

During these past few months, I asked my doctor to increase the dose of one of my medications, add another type of medication, to switch the main medication, accept a take-as-needed medication; to experience this micro-win; and make up for the agony of 2021. Yes, micro-win. Because there will be more difficult seasons ahead with challenging symptoms such as depression, mania, delusions, and more, to endure—this is a brain disorder, not the flu.  

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