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Self-Stigma and Challenges with Dating

It is important to know who is for you. Moreover, it is vital that you recognize your assets and what you bring to any relationship. The stigma of having a diagnosis is bad. The labels, false beliefs, discrimination, and myths are harmful, but self-stigma is worse. While we all have limits, self-discouragement and internal doubt affects everybody in at least one area of life.

The relationships advertised on television don’t show the process of the highs and lows in dating. In the real world, single-parenting, poor credit, weight gain, job choice, ex-lovers, sexual orientation, and health issues, hold weight. These issues do not go away on their own.  Romantic relationships are complicated, and having a diagnosis makes it more challenging. Still, the focus is not strictly about the issue, but rather how you talk about it.

Open communication is essential to overcome concerns. The good news is a lot of relationships overcome their baggage and unique challenges. Yes, having a diagnosis is a unique challenge. And, living in recovery is possible and so is your dating life.

Disclosure is a significant hurdle in dating. I warn you that the initial conversation on the diagnosis could either go extremely well or poorly. In the past, I’ve tested individuals prior to disclosing my health condition. I’ve held conversations about mental illness to gage their level of awareness and experience with somebody and mental illness.

If you are in this phase of your relationship, I encourage you to be prepared to answer questions. Disclosure is more about how the illness affects you. How do you define your diagnosis? What are your triggers and early warning signs? How can your partner best support you? When you know these answers in advance, you’ll have an advantage in the dialogue.

However, I must warn you due to the stigma of schizophrenia and related conditions you may get some questions that seem offensive. That’s why the conversation on the issue is your opportunity to debunk myths, take control of the conversation to change perspectives, and reprogram the narrative about people living in recovery. Disclosure takes courage. And, the fact is some people cannot handle it, which is okay, because somebody else can and would with you.

While this diagnosis seems scary to the world your partner can support you through the journey. It is vital to understand recovery requires a lot of coping tools. While your partner is a great support, they are not equipped to handle everything. I encourage you to get a therapist to develop insight on how to cope with life’s stressors and the diagnosis. Another great coping tool is to review affirmations.

Sometimes in prayer I remind myself of the great things that the Creator instilled in me. You are enough. You are important. You are amazing. I say these statements and more to reinforce motivation and confidence. Also, journaling helps. A gratitude journal may boost positive energy in the face of stigma.

Finally, just because you have a diagnosis doesn’t mean you have to accept a mediocre partner. Again, you add value to relationships. Although the stigma is widespread, and some people can work with the health concerns while others can’t, that is fine. Therefore, continue to work on yourself, recovery, and focus your energy onto positive relationships and self-care activities. Remember the person who stayed and practice effective communication to press forward and build stronger, healthier, bonds with your partner.

 

 

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