Overcoming Schizophrenia

This morning I slept in, but that was nothing new. These days my depression wins the battles, however, I believe I can still win the war. My dogs got me up and out of bed to go outside. It was about 40 degrees- good thing they were fast at using it. I ran an errand for household supplies. Then decided to cook myself something filling- grits. The bare minimum- no eggs, sausage, nor toast, just grits. Yet, I was proud of myself for that because it required energy which I was able to build on. Now I have my crockpot on and will cook some soup.      I've been struggling for a long time. My doctor and I have been tweaking my medication for years. Now I'm on two anti-depressants, a mood stabilizer, and an anti-psychotic. Still, I'm hopeful we will find a better medication cocktail. It seems the medication changes and dosage adjustments initially boosts my energy every time, this helps bring self-motivation and better days. However, shortly afterwards that great mood and morale...

It is important to know who is for you. Moreover, it is vital that you recognize your assets and what you bring to any relationship. The stigma of having a diagnosis is bad. The labels, false beliefs, discrimination, and myths are harmful, but self-stigma is worse. While we all have limits, self-discouragement and internal doubt affects everybody in at least one area of life. The relationships advertised on television don’t show the process of the highs and lows in dating. In the real world, single-parenting, poor credit, weight gain, job choice, ex-lovers, sexual orientation, and health issues, hold weight. These issues do not go away on their own.   Romantic relationships are complicated, and having a diagnosis makes it more challenging. Still, the focus is not strictly about the issue, but rather how you talk about it. Open communication is essential to overcome concerns. The good news is a lot of relationships overcome their baggage and unique challenges. Yes, having a dia...

In the past, somebody criticized me for being too positive on my blog. The truth is I write blog posts when I am in a good place. I have highs and lows just like everybody else. I choose to practice optimism and to envision a hopeful outcome. Applying a hopeful attitude is intentional. I work very hard to stay hopeful. As you know, this condition is life-long and can be saddening when compared to other conditions.  Recently, I reflected on the idea of not having this medical challenge. If I did not have schizophrenia I would be able to work full-time. If I did not have schizophrenia I would not have to endure question and answer sessions about my health when I get involved in a romantic relationship. If I did not have schizophrenia I would enjoy life more... Fortunately, I cut myself off this downward spiral. I reminded myself that everybody has challenges; they may not be severe such as a mental illness, but yet, and still severe. I am grateful for this life journey; ch...

Me- On A "Good Day" When's the last time you managed your self-care,  well ?- Today? Yesterday?- Or has it been that long ? As a mother, employee, and volunteer, my ideal self-care activities have decreased from one extreme to another. In the past, I had pampering days that included leisure activities and visits to the nail salon, now this "me-time" has turned into tiny acts of self-reflection like maintaining my journal. My days are filled with rigorous activities I enjoy like working with peers, sharing my recovery story to diverse groups, and caring for my son. Ironically, my job as a Certified Peer Specialist (CPS) is to model great self-care for the sake of my mental health. However, that is an ongoing roller coaster that I strive to shut down and to restore balance, but I am moving too fast to take back my control!  Me- T.I.R.E.D. At the End of the Day For example, besides my erratic sleep habits,  I frequently skip breakfast and s...

Avoiding a crisis with the aid of medication or any form of treatment should always take precedence over convenience. I missed a couple of days of medication. I did not forget to take my medicine, instead I told myself it was not convenient. Therefore, I continued on with my busy schedule, and regretted it in the days to come. I followed up on taking my medicine after I starting experiencing the side effects of my antidepressant, my inability to maintain focus with my eyes. This discomfort prompted me to take my medication for the side effects and also my mental health medicine. Reflecting on my actions I know how careless and risky it was to opt out of taking my medication to treat my mental illness. I've had my share of bizarre thoughts, disconnection from reality, and psychosis among several other scary symptoms of schizophrenia. I generally motivate myself to stay compliant with my medication regimen because I do not want anyone to see me when I am in a state of confusi...

I've been in recovery for over five years and have learned a lot about it along with my peers. To me, crucial steps to recovery are consistency, risk-taking, and trust. An individual must be willing to participate in their recovery and hold trust in their treatment team and treatment regimen- whatever that is. Before they get to a place of cooperation one must step outside of their comfort parameters trust their treatment team, and do something different to help themselves in recovery, and to also maintain that new lifestyle. For me, that was going to support groups. When I moved back to Atlanta I didn't have resources to engage in quality outpatient treatment programs, but I did have access to mental health care which I did take advantage of. I got involved in a patient assistance program by the pharmaceutical company and took part in the support groups led by my therapist in my local treatment center. I went there to 1) get out of my house, 2) socialize with people, and 3) ...

The last few days have been rough for me, however, I have not had the need to take my anxiety medication again- yay!- and my state of well-being is improving by writing regularly, and recognizing that I have the support of my therapist, family, friends and fellow bloggers. I still get tired easily and feel concerned with all the things I want to do for myself, family, the nonprofit I serve, and other mental health related projects; despite the plan I came up with my therapist to relieve and manage my stress. I will read a little more than usual to help relax, and make sure I take a nap today. A friend of mine said to be gentle with yourself. I used to think I was superwoman and was not fragile- my opinion on this matter has changed... I am fragile and do need to be gentle with myself, I just need to learn how to master this change. Change is difficult for me because its a change in my thinking and lifestyle, and I'm the type of person that is a creature of habit and stay in my ...

Prior to my diagnosis of schizophrenia I was very active in school and extracurricular activities. I played a role in cross country, an internship, AWANA church program for youth, and school. Eventually, my illness interrupted my studies and I was forced to drop out of school temporarily due to the stresses of school, finances, and life changes. I worked for a little while until my illness took that opportunity away from me too when I had a nervous breakdown. When my illness was made known, everybody (i.e. psychiatrist, therapist, mother, treatment team) suggested that I make a change and to take things slow for a little while. Therefore, I did not work for the first year after my diagnosis, and I applied for Supplemental Security Income. In the meantime I participated in a clubhouse for young adults and I was fortunate to return to school for one class. Making the change was challenging for me, because I am used to juggling so many different activities. After it is said and done, I am...

Now that you have schizophrenia do you feel challenged? My step-father asked me this earlier today. The issue with having schizophrenia is that you are constantly concerned with the fear of having a relapse and being sent back to the hospital. Or having recurring symptoms that make it hard for you to function, despite medication compliance. Schizophrenia is a challenge, however, I turn it into motivation. Schizophrenia makes me take things more slowly compared to past activities and/or events, however, I still believe I can fulfill goals. I do not limit myself or stigmatize myself because of the illness. However, I do acknowledge I have an illness and find ways to cope with it. For example, people with schizophrenia frequently display flat emotion. Accordingly, I try to be more vocal about my feelings. I believe everyone has an issue or challenge whether it be an addiction, a medical ailment, a mental disorder, a personality disorder, or problems with relationships and family, and so ...