This morning I slept in, but that was nothing new. These days my depression wins the battles, however, I believe I can still win the war. My dogs got me up and out of bed to go outside. It was about 40 degrees- good thing they were fast at using it. I ran an errand for household supplies. Then decided to cook myself something filling- grits. The bare minimum- no eggs, sausage, nor toast, just grits. Yet, I was proud of myself for that because it required energy which I was able to build on. Now I have my crockpot on and will cook some soup.
I've been struggling for a long time. My doctor and I have been tweaking my medication for years. Now I'm on two anti-depressants, a mood stabilizer, and an anti-psychotic. Still, I'm hopeful we will find a better medication cocktail. It seems the medication changes and dosage adjustments initially boosts my energy every time, this helps bring self-motivation and better days. However, shortly afterwards that great mood and morale declines back to my daily struggles.
Every day I fight myself to get out of bed. I do a little bit of house chores which makes me feel good for a moment. I walk the park, sometimes, but not always like before because its boost in my energy is no longer there like before. My walks used to help my creative thoughts and energy kick in, but not so much anymore.I'm back on vitamins- D and B12, they're okay. I try to make sure I eat a snack with my morning medications. Usually it's a smoothie and toast. Despite these dreary days, I am still hopeful.
Today I brought another white candle to light and felt good about bringing peaceful energy into my space. I recited a few affirmations- "Good things are supposed to happen to me. Today will be a great day. I am beautiful... I am important... I am strong." And, I listened to the sounds of nature on my meditation app, Medito. I'm thinking today will be better because I'm cooking, reflecting on positive self-talk, cleaning up and am still clinging to hope for more energy and motivation.
How did you attend to your own needs today?
What made you proud of yourself today?
If you're struggling with depression seek professional support. Take your medications as prescribed. Consider vitamins, exercise, and stay connected with others. While the daily challenges are real believe better days are ahead and there is hope for winning the battles on depression.
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