Skip to main content

Afraid of Rejection

Yesterday, I missed the perfect opportunity to tell my boyfriend (who I have been dating for a little over a month) that I have schizophrenia...

Schizophrenia awareness is a strong interest for me. Am I ashamed of my mental illness because I did not tell him that I have the illness? Or am I cautious of sharing my information with others because they may be ignorant to what the illness is? I think I am the latter, because I don't mind sharing my story with strangers, also I don't think my boyfriend knows much about schizophrenia.

I got scared and did not tell him I have schizophrenia because I don't want him to reject me, but he will find out in the end. Is it better to share my diagnosis so early in the relationship or to wait?

I did not feel comfortable sharing my diagnosis with him, yet. I am going to go with my feelings and wait. I don't want it to not work out for other reasons, really soon, and for him to know my whole life story.

When I do tell him, what will I say?? Start out with a question and then go from there... do you know what schizophrenia is? I have schizophrenia. It is a mental illness that affects a person's thinking processes and ability to function because they may experience hallucinations, delusions, and communication problems. I discovered I had the illness a couple of years ago, and since then I have received treatment and I continue to learn more about my illness. Then let him ask me the questions.

This is very important to me because it is a part of me now. Five years ago I would have never thought of mental illness or it affecting me and my family. I did not even know what schizophrenia was until my diagnosis in the summer of 2007.

If you want to learn more about schizophrenia I encourage to visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or Schizophrenia Society of Novia Scotia (Canada).


K.C. Jones said…
I think it was wise to wait until you feel comfortable enough with him to share something this personal.
You should do what feels right for you. I can understand your concerns.
Kari Greenaway said…
I think for me...I found myself waiting to see where the relationship was going before I would divulge my illness,with my husband though I was open about it. I wanted him to prove that he was in it for me, no matter what. He just wants to protect and care for me. I wouldn't let it go unsaid for to long though..he may feel resentment if he's not really in it for you.
Good Luck
Anonymous said…
Regarding dating and mental illness, I like this very humorous post by Victoria Maxwell:

Popular posts from this blog

Religious Preoccupation

After a talk, a woman asked me if my faith contributed to my recovery because she noticed that I mentioned it throughout my speech. In addition to that, she told me that she observed people with faith as having a better outcome in their mental health recovery.

First, I came from a family with Christian values. My faith in God started to get intense during the latter years of high school, which in my opinion, is when I started having symptoms. In my experience religion plays a major role in my mental health- its delusions, its coping skills, and in my recovery. In medical terms they call my religious rituals and delusions "religious preoccupation."

Before I was diagnosed I was highly religious. In fact, I wanted to be an evangelist and to go to a Christian college. I would read my Bible for several hours a day throughout the day, listen to hymns, and meditate. Sometimes I would ignore people if they wanted my attention while I was meditating I was in such deep thought. Also, I …

How Can I Support Someone with Persecution Delusions

Recently, a reader asked how to support, or what to say to someone who has persecutory delusions and confides in them. I thought this question was profound. By investigating this question it could help so many people maintain or develop a trusting relationship with their relative, friend, or client, etc. I asked the opinion of my therapist, and she gave some pointers and asked me to remember a time when I was psychotic and what could someone have said to me to make me feel more comfortable...

When I was at my peak of psychosis everything was a sign from God- that truck making a U-turn meant go back, that taxi cab driver telling me to stay out of trouble meant he was in on it too. While I was psychotic I heard conflicting voices. When I would ask someone a question on the phone the voices would give different information. I was extremely paranoid. And almost everyone was a threat. I couldn't confide in relatives because they would tell my secrets, I couldn't trust friends becaus…

Lack of Trust: A Byproduct of My Mental Illness

In this entry, I'll share my experiences with Schizophrenia in regards to feeling lack of trust in others, paranoia, and isolation.... I remember my many episodes with Schizophrenia where I felt uneasy because of lack of trust in others. In the past, isolation was a giant bullying me around.

Sometimes my mind would take me to a place of fear, hurt, and an unsettling spirit, which started with what seemed like a strange look, or a different feeling around an individual, when in reality it was another symptom of my undiagnosed illness- paranoia. My paranoia was rampant and dictated my life prior to experiencing a crisis, which led me to jail and into forced treatment and to receive an official diagnosis of Schizophrenia in 2007.

In other words, my illness created enemies in my mind. For instance, I once believed my favorite kin was against me and I felt like she wanted me to fail, and I eventually thought she was conspiring to harm me. However, she never said anything to imply these f…