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Afraid of Rejection

Yesterday, I missed the perfect opportunity to tell my boyfriend (who I have been dating for a little over a month) that I have schizophrenia...

Schizophrenia awareness is a strong interest for me. Am I ashamed of my mental illness because I did not tell him that I have the illness? Or am I cautious of sharing my information with others because they may be ignorant to what the illness is? I think I am the latter, because I don't mind sharing my story with strangers, also I don't think my boyfriend knows much about schizophrenia.

I got scared and did not tell him I have schizophrenia because I don't want him to reject me, but he will find out in the end. Is it better to share my diagnosis so early in the relationship or to wait?

I did not feel comfortable sharing my diagnosis with him, yet. I am going to go with my feelings and wait. I don't want it to not work out for other reasons, really soon, and for him to know my whole life story.

When I do tell him, what will I say?? Start out with a question and then go from there... do you know what schizophrenia is? I have schizophrenia. It is a mental illness that affects a person's thinking processes and ability to function because they may experience hallucinations, delusions, and communication problems. I discovered I had the illness a couple of years ago, and since then I have received treatment and I continue to learn more about my illness. Then let him ask me the questions.

This is very important to me because it is a part of me now. Five years ago I would have never thought of mental illness or it affecting me and my family. I did not even know what schizophrenia was until my diagnosis in the summer of 2007.

If you want to learn more about schizophrenia I encourage to visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or Schizophrenia Society of Novia Scotia (Canada).

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Comments

K.C. Jones said…
I think it was wise to wait until you feel comfortable enough with him to share something this personal.
May 14, 2009 at 5:57 PM
Laura said…
You should do what feels right for you. I can understand your concerns.
May 14, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Anonymous said…
I think for me...I found myself waiting to see where the relationship was going before I would divulge my illness,with my husband though I was open about it. I wanted him to prove that he was in it for me, no matter what. He just wants to protect and care for me. I wouldn't let it go unsaid for to long though..he may feel resentment if he's not really in it for you.
Good Luck
May 15, 2009 at 8:49 AM
Anonymous said…
Regarding dating and mental illness, I like this very humorous post by Victoria Maxwell: http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/crazy-life/200904/wont-hurt-bit-really-dating-after-mental-illness
May 16, 2009 at 9:43 AM
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