The Author- Ashley

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Atlanta, Georgia, United States
My name is Ashley and I am a lot of things, read this blog to learn more... Thank you for visiting my blog!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Unique Memories

After I shared my story with an interested party who is working on a project I thought of the many symptoms and situations I left out of my testimony...

I didn't tell him about the milk cartons, or the mind reading, and the images that made me do a quick u-turn. Now, I am in recovery mode I feel comfortable sharing the many experiences I recall during my episode with paranoid schizophrenia.

For example, I remember not believing what anyone told me concerning the date or other things. I felt like I had an intimate relationship with God to the extent that he sent me private messages, and that I can even have a greater understanding of Him. Instead of believing what people said the date was, I looked at milk cartons to get the real date, this was a message sent from God, I thought.

I remember going to church, like I usually did, however, communicating with the pastor's wife through my mind. I looked at her, and knew she understood me. Strangely, I even thought she may think I would want to take her husband from her, but I told her in mind that I did not. It was all very bizarre.

The day the carpet was lifted right from beneath me I recall watching the Trinity network and watching the end of the program to get the tape information only to see the words: "How to commit suicide" on the screen. I felt very uncomfortable and turned off the television immediately. Then later, I received messages from the devil through the radio in a song about girls. I just knew the devil was playing game with me, again. But my faith was strong and kept on keeping on, like I am now...

As life comes with many obstacles and ups and downs in relationships, I am at peace. I know that the Lord has my back and that it will all work out in the end. Thank you for reading about these strange memories. I hopoe if you have a mental illness or know someone who does you will seek education and support. Thank you again!

If you would like to learn more information about schizophrenia visit Embracing My Mind, Inc., NAMI, or Schizophrenia Society of Novia Scotia (Canada).


badarabbas said...

I am a patient of schizophrenia. It is really nice to read you blog. By reading blog like these i started my own blog. It is at I myself had such feeling of special relationship wit God that i plan to narrate in the blog.Your efforts are really commendable.

Valash said...

Thank you very much badarabbas, and I will check out your blog soon!

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Managing Schizophrenia Blog said...

hi, i am also paranoid schizophrenic. i had episodes with the devil too, they were too scary for me back then. maybe i'd also be sharing them from my blog. also my deep faith in God which has kept me going.

nice to read from someone who has gone through the same. cheers!

- amae

Managing Schizophrenia Blog

Valash said...

Nice to meet you Amae!