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Reader Question#1 - February 2024

 Was there ever a time that you refused to take the meds and how did you finally decide to? 


Thank you asking me this question, because it's common and a great discussion. Initially, I refused medication simply because I didn't understand why? One day they started giving me pills. Without a warning, lesson, explanation, handout, or anything! Kinda like, here take this with this tiny paper cup of water and open your mouth to prove it. 


    It was routine in jail, but I wasn't required to take meds like everyone else before. Therefore, I refused. This worked until one day they threatened to get others involved to force medicate me and administer an injection. I challenged them. Do it! - Was my attitude. 


    Guards dressed like the S.W.A.T. team rushed in and restrained me. They were quite dramatic because at that point I didn't put up a fight and just laid there while they restrained me. Eventually, when I came out of being stuck and foggy, I caught on that I was required to take the medicine.


    Eventually, I was told my diagnosis (after the medication order was in place) and educated about it. I was hospitalized for  four months and required to engage in the classes, which did help. That was a state pyschiatric hospital in California. However, I've been hospitalized in Georgia too. They offered classes as well. 


    Education is vital. It should coincide with the administering of treatment. It is important to not only know your diagnosis but what that might look like in your circumstances. 


    When the doctor asked me about hallucinations I said no because I didn't understand what a hallucination was. I think he eventually asked about my voices but my voices told me stories about him. I didn't trust him, his intentions, nor connect in any way.


    However, I did open up and admit I heard voices to another doctor. He wore jeans opposed to slacks that made me feel more comfortable. He spoke to me in regular dialogue and not the fancy doctor jargon. He asked me about symptoms and provided examples while nodding his head up and down. I liked him because he was approachable.


    He led a class on medication. I can't recall the rest. But I do know that trust is vital to partnering with a mental health professional.


    Learning about your diagnosis is extremely important for you, your circle, and others. When people learn of your condition they might question you for understanding. It's helpful to share insight about how the diagnosis effects you- not a generic lesson that might not apply to you. That's why it's so important to understand yourself, warning signs, and triggers to inform your loved ones and friends how to better support you. 


    Ways to learn about your mental health includes an array of options. For example, support  groups. That way you  could relate to others, get  peer support, and know how to describe your experiences. Online education. At the hospital. Sessions with your provider and therapy. I encourage everyone to consider therapy because it is person-centered and you could learn practical coping skills.


    Therefore, to answer your question. Initially, I did refuse treatment. However, I was forced-medicated. While I received medication I was educated about my schizophrenia. After my hospitalization I continued my learning through a clubhouse for people living with either a  mental illness or substance abuse concerns.


    Yet, refusing treatment could be a response NOT to denial but avoiding the stigma around the label, schizophrenia. There are many reasons why an individual might refuse treatment. For example, the frustrating side effects such as weight gain, involuntary movements (tardive dyskinesia). Or, self-medicating with drugs- not wanting to mix it with treatment, etc. etc.


    Lastly, I didn't have anosognosia. A great resource to help manage it with a  loved one is reading Dr. Xavier Amador's book:  I AM NOT SICK I DON'T NEED HELP! HOW TO HELP SOMEONE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS ACCEPT TREATMENT.


Thank you, I welcome your questions.

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