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Rough Times

Rough times. All relationships with deal them. What does that look like? Ongoing disagreements and arguing. Shifts in attitude and definition of personal space. That awkward silence and growing division. Ultimately, the invisible wall that creates distance. There are infinite reasons partners disagree. For those of us with health challenges such as schizophrenia this health problem creates another challenge in relationships that demands attention.


Being Attentive and Understanding

When I wasn't well and stuck in my depression these moments challenged my relationship as did other health-related situations. Bad days looked like being chained to the bed with less words to share. I recall my partner helping me overcome that period by continuously checking on me. While understanding I might not be in the mood to talk and giving me more space whenever I made that known. Some days I didn't feel like talking. I'd text and tell him that then follow up later on.


Skipped Doses and Poor Sleeping Habits

One of our worse moments was due to missing doses of medication.  This incident challenged us because it shook the foundation of our relationship. I wasn't sleeping much. Also, I skipped some doses of medicine by reordering the refills too late. Finally, once I received my meds, I mixed the morning and night meds to avoid missing another dose. This created significant issues. 


I became hyper-religious and delusional. I believed God told me things about those close to us and it was upsetting. After the medication mix up the next few days were problematic. My behavior threatened my connection with my partner. My behavior became erratic, upsetting and irrational. I shut down. And, shut him down too with poor communication. Holding heated conversations that went nowhere. Immediately, following the chaos I was scared I lost him in the mist of my dysfunction and delusions that spiraled out of control. My health scare challenged our bond.


Through effective communication we determined why I was acting out of character. This flare-up of delusions happened as a result of not getting enough sleep and mixing my medications.


Your Partner's Reaction

It's gonna be hard. It's not going to be easy. The person you're with won't automatically recognize this is a part of our condition flaring up. Initially, they will be very upset and not understand the confusion. However, when they realize we're not making sense and are acting out of character this will take place after a lot of heated conversations. These incidents will rub them the wrong way and unfortunately be memorable. 


For me, my partner stayed with me through my crisis. He made that known he wouldn't leave me while I was in a poor state of mind. Still, there was no guarantee he was going to stay with me. The process of getting over this situation took a little while. My partner had to step back and look at the disconnect from another angle. Recall I have an invisible illness that effects my judgment and behavior. Know when to be supportive and understanding but also hold me accountable for my role in the dispute.


When you two come to a conclusion to the unrest your partner will again have an opportunity to move forward with you and this relationship. Understanding this may not be the last incident but decide to stay and learn how to cope with you. The blow up will be hard and will challenge the strength of your relationship. Is your relationship strong enough to endure the pain? How will you both move forward with the possibility of another flare-up? Or call will the episode lead to the end calling it quits? 


Either way we must accept. Accept our illness, the disruptions it may cause and therefore, aim to control flare-ups better the next time.


Conclusion

I share these experiences to give you an idea of what to expect. Incidents might not happen for a long time but one day they will. While every relationship looks different. You should know that getting through these rough times with health issues requires patience and hard work. Clear communication is essential to overcome these difficult times along with patience and greater knowledge about schizophrenia. Moreover, it's important we take care of ourselves. Taking our medications as prescribed to minimize problems and avoid the disconnect in those relationships that mean so much to us.


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