For me, experiencing psychosis is an experience I will never forget. In short, psychosis is when an individual cannot distinguish reality. I endured a psychotic experience at the age of 20, almost five years ago, and still remember the terrors of the illness- officially diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenia in 2007. The manifestation of the illness dominated my livelihood whenever I was extremely suspicious, confused, forgetful, irritable, distant, irrational, and hearing criticizing voices when nobody was around. In my mind, everyone was envious of me because I had godly talents. I thought I could read people's minds and understand them, and sometimes they could read my mind as well. I rationalized these strange beliefs by my faith in God and the miracles of the Bible. I believed I was on a mission for God and eventually thought I was Jesus Christ being persecuted again when I was arrested for a crime I committed while not in the right state of mind. The bizarre thoughts increased....
This blog is about educating and empowering peers, caregivers, and loved ones with hope for recovery. I describe my experience living with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been in recovery since 2007. I've experienced setbacks, but also triumphed through challenges. I encourage you to share your thoughts and to believe that better days are attainable. Thank you for visiting. Welcome to my life in recovery... Ashley Smith