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Fear to Openness about Medication

I am concerned that I may be slipping into depression that may get worse if untreated. Prior to the birth of my child I never had a bout with depression, but as my body changed so did my hormones and my susceptibility to depression. A few months ago I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and at the time I knew I needed extra support from my my treatment team. I knew I needed to focus on my mental health because my anxiety level was up and down, it was difficult to concentrate, and I felt extremely overwhelmed and afraid my mental illness would rear its ugly head and try to destroy my recovery accomplishments. I spoke my therapist who contacted my doctor and let them know I was coming in the next morning as a walk-in, which I did and we tweaked my medication. Now, its hard to focus and to carry out minor assignments, sometimes I feel anxious for no reason, I am extremely tired and sleep more than usual, and I feel like I am on a downward spiral. Yet, I have reason to be. I have

Lack of Trust: A Byproduct of My Mental Illness

In this entry, I'll share my experiences with Schizophrenia in regards to feeling lack of trust in others, paranoia, and isolation.... I remember my many episodes with Schizophrenia where I felt uneasy because of lack of trust in others. In the past, isolation was a giant bullying me around. Sometimes my mind would take me to a place of fear, hurt, and an unsettling spirit, which started with what seemed like a strange look, or a different feeling around an individual, when in reality it was another symptom of my undiagnosed illness- paranoia. My paranoia was rampant and dictated my life prior to experiencing a crisis, which led me to jail and into forced treatment and to receive an official diagnosis of Schizophrenia in 2007. In other words, my illness created enemies in my mind. For instance, I once believed my favorite kin was against me and I felt like she wanted me to fail, and I eventually thought she was conspiring to harm me. However, she never said anything to imply thes

How to Cope with Dark Seasons

I aim to empower those affected by mental illness. However, the truth about recovery is there will be many dark seasons. Still, I hope people will remember the person we were prior to the harsh symptoms, and know we are still that person. I am not a doctor, I am a peer counselor of certified peer specialist. I have worked with peers as a recovery support person in a substance abuse department, housing programs, and peer-led centers. My story is just one of many. It may be widely similar, or different. Yet, I believe it can help. Living with a diagnosis can be rough. The symptoms can turn our thoughts dark, bizarre, and extremely debilitating. As an individual with schizoaffective disorder I am fortunate to experience great days, but when I struggle- I struggle. I know that medication cannot solve all. I know my challenges and limitations- which we all have to a degree. I take my medication because it helps me think more clearly and minimizes the symptoms. However, it does not make them