Catatonic. Delusional. Psychotic. These are a few symptoms of schizophrenia, which I suffered, lived in, and endured through medication. Catatonic was a place of immobility, distance, and lack of awareness. I experienced catatonia during my first breakdown at age 20. My breakdown led to my incarceration and hospitalization. My catatonic state of mind left me frozen, vulnerable, and lost. While I was catatonic time did not exist. I did not hold concerns related to hygiene, socialization, nor consequence. A jail nurse, Erwin, expressed my condition, in order, to persuade me into taking medication. Erwin said, “We had to drag you in your chair from the day room back to your cell, because you would not move... We rushed you to the emergency room three times to stick an IV in you, because you stopped eating and drinking... Please stop ignoring me... Would you take your medicine?” I did not move for hours, and maybe even for days. Doctors and nurses visited regularly. ...
This blog is about educating and empowering peers, caregivers, and loved ones with hope for recovery. I describe my experience living with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been in recovery since 2007. I've experienced setbacks, but also triumphed through challenges. I encourage you to share your thoughts and to believe that better days are attainable. Thank you for visiting. Welcome to my life in recovery... Ashley Smith