Skip to main content

Unique Memories

After I shared my story with an interested party who is working on a project I thought of the many symptoms and situations I left out of my testimony...

I didn't tell him about the milk cartons, or the mind reading, and the images that made me do a quick u-turn. Now, I am in recovery mode I feel comfortable sharing the many experiences I recall during my episode with paranoid schizophrenia.

For example, I remember not believing what anyone told me concerning the date or other things. I felt like I had an intimate relationship with God to the extent that he sent me private messages, and that I can even have a greater understanding of Him. Instead of believing what people said the date was, I looked at milk cartons to get the real date, this was a message sent from God, I thought.

I remember going to church, like I usually did, however, communicating with the pastor's wife through my mind. I looked at her, and knew she understood me. Strangely, I even thought she may think I would want to take her husband from her, but I told her in mind that I did not. It was all very bizarre.

The day the carpet was lifted right from beneath me I recall watching the Trinity network and watching the end of the program to get the tape information only to see the words: "How to commit suicide" on the screen. I felt very uncomfortable and turned off the television immediately. Then later, I received messages from the devil through the radio in a song about girls. I just knew the devil was playing game with me, again. But my faith was strong and kept on keeping on, like I am now...

As life comes with many obstacles and ups and downs in relationships, I am at peace. I know that the Lord has my back and that it will all work out in the end. Thank you for reading about these strange memories. I hopoe if you have a mental illness or know someone who does you will seek education and support. Thank you again!

If you would like to learn more information about schizophrenia visit Embracing My Mind, Inc., NAMI, or Schizophrenia Society of Novia Scotia (Canada).

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am a patient of schizophrenia. It is really nice to read you blog. By reading blog like these i started my own blog. It is at badarabbas.wordpress.com. I myself had such feeling of special relationship wit God that i plan to narrate in the blog.Your efforts are really commendable.
Ashley Smith said…
Thank you very much badarabbas, and I will check out your blog soon!
This is something very best on your part.Providing information in the best possible manner is your best attribute.I love when you share your views through the best articles.Keep sharing and posting articles like these.This article has helped me a lot.Keep posting this stuff.I must appreciate your article writing skills.Every time i come here i see something very new.Thanks for sharing the information.I love when you share your views through the best articles.Keep sharing and posting articles like these.This article has helped me a lot.Keep posting this stuff.
hi, i am also paranoid schizophrenic. i had episodes with the devil too, they were too scary for me back then. maybe i'd also be sharing them from my blog. also my deep faith in God which has kept me going.

nice to read from someone who has gone through the same. cheers!

- amae
http://managingschizophrenia.blogspot.com/

Managing Schizophrenia Blog
Ashley Smith said…
Nice to meet you Amae!

Popular posts from this blog

by A Guest Blogger: For Addicts, Recovery Means Creating a New Life

If you’re struggling to maintain your sobriety, you aren’t alone. There are millions of fighters just like you working toward reclaiming their lives from drugs and alcohol. There are a few common traits that many successful recovering addicts share. Keep reading to find out what they are and how you can follow in their footsteps. They establish new patterns You can’t continue to live your life the same was you did when you were using. You must change and adapt to your newfound sobriety. Consider a career change; many recovering addicts find they have more success by starting their own business. One career that is easy to enter is dog walking. As a dog walker , you’ll reap many rewards including getting to spend time with dogs, which can actually boost your recovery efforts and stave off depression. Dogs have been used as part of a treatment plan for users as young as 11 and come with the added benefit of helping you stay physically active. Plus, being with ...

No, Please, That's Not Me

Prior to my diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia I did some things that I am not proud of. Now that I look back on things I blame my illness for my poor judgment. I am by no means condoning the behavior I carried out, and will share with you here. I will provide a few instances where my behavior was unlike me and caused an uproar. This post shows how schizophrenia affects other people. This post is for the family members and friends of people with schizophrenia, or showing bizarre behaviors. First, I asked my mother permission to give my friend a statue that was in my mother's house. My mother agreed to give my friend the statue, however, I took her permission a step further to get rid of what she had at my discretion. At the time I did not live with my mother who was away on a business trip. My mother buys and sells things so she had a lot of collectibles, antiques, and other interesting stuff. While my friend and me were in my mother's house my friend saw a lot of stuff that s...

What Is Remission?

Remission is the absence of symptoms for at least six months with the support of medication. In other words, a doctor who has never seen you before may not diagnose you as a person with schizophrenia anymore. Remission is also high functioning in several aspects of life, living independently, goinig to school or to work, and socializing with other people. However, this does not mean the patient is cured or the illness has went away, the illness is still present, however, under control. Remission is achieved with the assistance of medication. "Published studies suggest that 10% to 20% of people with schizophrenia have remission of their illness as they get older, 20% get worse, but in a large majority (60% to 70%), the course of illness remains relatively unchanged." To reach remission it is recommended that you aim for a stress-free environment. Therefore, do things to relieve stress such as journaling, exercising, talking to friends, listening to or creating music, making a...