Skip to main content

Gratitude

I'm grateful for my sanity- I've learned not to take it for granted. I'm grateful for my health insurance and effectiveness of my medications to keep symptoms at bay. More importantly, I'm grateful for my family and extended family (friends). I'm able to bounce back because I have a solid support system and treatment team.


Modeling Recovery

When my family and I learned about my schizophrenia we didn't know what to expect nor what recovery could look like. Back in 2007, when I was diagnosed, there weren't people- black nor white disclosing their illness on public platforms like YouTube and social media. 

    There was nobody to model recovery for me- being a young black woman. However, I saw the movie with Diana Ross- Out of the Darkness. A movie made for television about a young African-American female living with schizophrenia. In short, she dropped out of medical school and suffered with her diagnosis. Fortunately, she got involved in her recovery and started dating, living independently, and managing life well. I used her character as an example of recovery because of the little similarities. When I stopped attending my university I didn't know what I was dealing with. Over time, I've gained insight on this condition and how to conquer it. 

    Nowadays there are several peers sharing their stories of recovery online. I hope this will bring awareness to our community and help educate each other on the facts that recovery is attainable.


Mastering Resiliency

My life experience continues to teach me over and over again that I have a good life. As a black disabled female and single-parent I have more disadvantages. Yet, my journey has taught me that I can win. I might have a relapse, but I'm able to come back and master resiliency, be humble and grateful.

    After a few years in recovery I've adopted a pattern and way of recuperating. I believe resiliency is a gift, but also a skill. Growing up my mother reminded me to "never let them see you sweat." After my incarcerations, hospitalizations, and setbacks and disappointments, I've learned how to continue walking with my pride and dignity despite the situations. The best advice I can share on developing the skill of resiliency is to keep trying as if you were looking for a job. 


Gratitude

I've been fortunate to have the same psychiatrist for over a decade. I trust my doctor and follow his recommendations. We've tweaked my medication for years especially at controlling the low moods. I remember all too much my bad, dark and dreary days of my depression and how it was hard masking it for my son. I'm grateful to be in this place mentally and emotionally today- in a good space. 

    I'm grateful for my life journey. I'm thankful my faith allows me to be at peace with the loss of my mother. I give thanks to my higher power regularly for who I am and who I'm becoming. Most importantly, I'm still here- with gratitude, love for my family, and desire to motivate and support others on their journeys of recovery, book publishing, and wellness.

    Like you, I 've been through a lot. Therefore, if you're struggling with your mental health believe that brighter days are attainable for you too. I encourage you to be open to considering new and different treatments to fighting back. Aim to develop your coping skills because living with a brain disease is challenging and will be challenging. However, there is room for growth, recovery, wellness and goals. 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Religious Preoccupation

After a talk, a woman asked me if my faith contributed to my recovery because she noticed that I mentioned it throughout my speech. In addition to that, she told me that she observed people with faith as having a better outcome in their mental health recovery. First, I came from a family with Christian values. My faith in God started to get intense during the latter years of high school, which in my opinion, is when I started having symptoms. In my experience religion plays a major role in my mental health- its delusions, its coping skills, and in my recovery. In medical terms they call my religious rituals and delusions "religious preoccupation." Before I was diagnosed I was highly religious. In fact, I wanted to be an evangelist and to go to a Christian college. I would read my Bible for several hours a day throughout the day, listen to hymns, and meditate. Sometimes I would ignore people if they wanted my attention while I was meditating I was in such deep thought. Also, I...
15 comments
Read more

The Path that God Chose for Me

I am not upset that I have schizophrenia, this is the life God chose for me. The other day I was telling my mother I am glad I took a break from school, but I wish I had taken it sooner so that I could have recognized my illness sooner. She reminded me that everything happens for a reason, and that had I took a break sooner I would not have been able to know my full potential in college and in life. I went to college and got really involved in it through sports, internships, and mentoring peers. I was involved in so many things, school, church, home, friends, family, you name it! She was right, I am glad I took the path I took. I did not always have schizophrenia, but now that I have it I will work hard to overcome it. I try not to use the word schizophrenic because that identifies the person by their illness and that isn't fair. I am Ashley and I have schizophrenia. I will not let it limit my potential or define who I am. I can and will overcome these symptoms with medication, the...
23 comments
Read more

Lack of Trust: A Byproduct of My Mental Illness

In this entry, I'll share my experiences with Schizophrenia in regards to feeling lack of trust in others, paranoia, and isolation.... I remember my many episodes with Schizophrenia where I felt uneasy because of lack of trust in others. In the past, isolation was a giant bullying me around. Sometimes my mind would take me to a place of fear, hurt, and an unsettling spirit, which started with what seemed like a strange look, or a different feeling around an individual, when in reality it was another symptom of my undiagnosed illness- paranoia. My paranoia was rampant and dictated my life prior to experiencing a crisis, which led me to jail and into forced treatment and to receive an official diagnosis of Schizophrenia in 2007. In other words, my illness created enemies in my mind. For instance, I once believed my favorite kin was against me and I felt like she wanted me to fail, and I eventually thought she was conspiring to harm me. However, she never said anything to imply these ...
14 comments
Read more