Overcoming Schizophrenia

Catatonic. Delusional. Psychotic. These are a few symptoms of schizophrenia, which I suffered, lived in, and endured through medication.  Catatonic was a place of immobility, distance, and lack of awareness. I experienced catatonia during my first breakdown at age 20. My breakdown led to my incarceration and hospitalization. My catatonic state of mind left me frozen, vulnerable, and lost. While I was catatonic time did not exist. I did not hold concerns related to hygiene, socialization, nor consequence. A jail nurse, Erwin, expressed my condition, in order, to persuade me into taking medication. Erwin said, “We had to drag you in your chair from the day room back to your cell, because you would not move... We rushed you to the emergency room three times to stick an IV in you, because you stopped eating and drinking... Please stop ignoring me... Would you take your medicine?” I did not move for hours, and maybe even for days. Doctors and nurses visited regularly. ...

Yesterday, I participated in a woman's support group at the place where I receive treatment. I have not been to this group in a few months so I saw some familiar faces and some new faces. I was really looking forward to the group, and I am glad I went. We expressed a range of emotions throughout the meeting about each of our feelings and outlook on life. One question came up about someone's mental illness: is it pride or depression? The individual was isolated, but wanted someone to reach out to them, but just didn't know how to get someone else's attention. I thought that was a very interesting question, me not knowing much about depression learned a lot. The answer to the question, was it is depression and NOT pride. My therapist said it plainly, depression is 'detached, dejected, guilty, and isolated.' The group came up with suggestions to reach out to others. We came up with several ideas and agreed on one- start small, don't send a mass mailing of think...