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Stigma- The Threat Against Romantic Relationships

"You alone are enough.
You have nothing to prove to anyone."
- Maya Angelou
As I scrolling through one of the private groups on social media a woman shared that she was engaged. She noted how this was important, because she had given up on relationships due to her mental illness. As an advocate for mental wellness it is particularly challenging for me to date, because most cannot handle the label- my mental health status. I have battled this at times, but in the end I keep advocating, and accepting myself and mission to fight stigma.

Living with mental illness is challenging because it is an invisible condition. Therefore, people have stated that I do not look like I have a mental illness, or that I have been delivered and do not need medication. These statements are supposed to be compliments, but they reinforce the reality, which is stigma still persists.

When I was hospitalized I knew a peer who had one visitor- her husband. He later told my mother that my peer's family does not know she is in the hospital and the couple will not disclose her hospitalizations. Just a few weeks ago a man purchased a copy of my book, Coping Takes Work. Prior to purchasing the book we talked about PTSD and other conditions. I learned that his ex-girlfriend had a mental illness, he admits it was challenging to be in the relationship with her. He did not understand, but wanted to and brought my book.

For me I've heard many discouraging statements from ex-boyfriends such as I would have chose you if you did not have a mental illness. The first question after disclosure is "are you violent?" and other harsh things. This lets me know they are not for me because they do not understand my condition due to stigma. However, it seems better if they aim to understand mental health concerns and keep an open mind.

I cope with the reality that potential partners will not understand my condition by reminding myself of past healthier relationships, but moreso focusing on myself. I accept my mental health condition. It is challenging, but I hold on to hope for better days and relationships.
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