3 Tips to Empower You and Your Loved One, Part II

  Two weeks ago, I started this conversation. I provided three tips to strengthen and empower you and your loved one: 1) Give options and practice shared decision-making, 2) Focus on strengths, and 3) Keep the trust. Although brain disorders may persist there are early warning signs prior to an episode and crisis. Be mindful of these triggers and warning signs that way you can reduce the likelihood of hospitalization by seeing help early on.

    Now, I’ll provide three ways to keep from getting to crisis mode and prolong the process of a breakdown. My three tips:

1. Don’t overlook the early warning signs.

2. Don’t avoid the conversation, strive to address symptoms and concerns.

3. Don’t jeopardize the trust.

    First, early warning signs may be subtle. Here are a few early warning signs that your loved one may exhibit, but are not limited to the following: poor sleeping patterns, severe mood swings or irritability, poor hygiene, isolating, and hyper-religious behavior. These are just some of many warning signs. If you see your loved demonstrating some of these signs take notes so that you may discuss it with them and their doctor before the it escalates.

    Second, do not shy away from important conversations. Have these conversations when your loved one seems more receptive to discussion. Here are some ice breakers to start the conversation. “You look stressed out. Have you been sleeping alright?’ or “I’ve noticed some changes in you, you seem to be upset more often…” or “I’ve noticed a change in you. You’re not communicating the same as before and you seem to distance yourself from everybody.” 

   However, a more direct conversation might look like “have you been taking your medication because I noticed that you have been...,” or “do you need a break, you look stressed, and I don’t want you to go through a difficult time. In fact, I noticed this about you… I brought this up because I care about your.” Or “do you need me to schedule an appointment with your doctor? You are not acting like yourself, and I’m concerned about you. I love you very much and don’t want to see you have a breakdown” 

    It is important to have clear communication. These conversations are vital. There may be a few, however, if you have these conversations PRIOR to the blow up or crisis it will better justify your need for emergency attention. Opposed to calling 911 in the midst of crisis and then having a strain on the relationship as a result. Explain your reasoning for treatment with your loved one when they are open to your perspective on self-care, symptoms, and treatment and solutions. 

    Finally, don’t jeopardize the trust. For example, don’t validate the delusions and hallucinations. You are an important reference for clarity. Keep your position and help your loved one get through difficult times.

    Lastly, sometimes a crisis is unavoidable. However, if you recognize the early warning signs and address them in the beginning to seek treatment you could help reduce chances of crisis. Yet, you might have to contact emergency personnel, police, or get your loved one the hospital, but taking action early on will help you both.

Let me know your thoughts about this conversation. 

Ashley and Her Mother, Tina

I showed this picture of my mother who was my caregiver. We didn't have these important conversations like so many families, but the signs were there. I exhibited all of the warning signs discussed in this article at one time or another prior to my breakdown. My experience is a lesson I hope you take heed. Continue to read about my journey to help yourself and your loved one.

This month marks the ninth year of my mother's passing due to breast cancer. My mother was a strong woman. She showed me how to be strong despite the beast of my invisible illness. My mother kept hope alive for my recovery. She will always be my superwoman. RIP, T.Q.