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Yesterday's Mountain

What does your depression look like? How do you fix your face? What can you do to overcome?

I woke up to another dreary day. My sight was off as if my glasses were smudged. The fog was thick. My dogs got  me out of bed. They impatiently sat next to me. They took turns pouncing on the edges of my bed to lick me and get me up which is our norm nowadays. Eventually, I gave in to their requests and took them outside. 

    Afterwards, I distanced myself from them to crawl back into my dark cave. Swiftly, I fell into a deep sleep that was a three-hour nap as usual. This was my first nap of the day. Later, I would retreat into another long nap.

    What does your struggle look like? For me, it's struggling to get out of bed. Struggling to manage my hygiene everyday. Struggling to fix my face with the proper mask. Struggling to keep the common areas tidy. Struggling to improve my mood. Struggling... And, struggling some more. Yet, I recognize that I can't sit and cry about my reality, I must get up and try to have a good day.

    Finally, I reached out for help. I texted my doctor. Shared a snip bit of my struggles with oversleeping. I called my sister and explained my dilemma - I'm on two anti-depressants, a mood stabilizer, and antipsychotic, but still struggling. How many antidepressants do I need? How many times does my doctor and I have to tweak my medication cocktail?

    She explained my root issue - excessive ongoing stress. My mind struggled to function because my body couldn't keep up the pace of driving on empty anymore. My medication couldn't combat the effects of stress anymore. Therefore, my body tries to regroup and reset my mental abilities through oversleeping. My sister and I talked for hours.

    My problem was the overload of stress and my solution was hope. I prayed. Then made the decision to have a good day. A friend called, twice. The second time I answered. I fixed my mask and raised the pitch of my voice to sound chirpy- it worked, I sounded well like "my usual self." My presentation over the phone allowed me to walk through the fog onto clearer paths.

    Reaching for my lifesaver I started performing thoughtless tasks. I cleaned up, listened to music, and took a walk around the block to turn my day around.

    Finally, if you're struggle looks like mine I encourage you to practice 7 coping tools:

1. Continue your medication regimen

2. Seek professional support

3. Check-in with a loved one

4. Exercise

5. Rest

6. Meditate, and consider having a

7. Fur baby to get you back on your feet again

    Lastly, don't let the weight of stress make you fold. Seek support, stay on your medication routine, get adequate rest, keep moving, and cling to hope. There may be countless bad days but there are several wellness tools to turn them around into good days. Remember depression is a symptom but hope is the antidote.

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