Now that I am a person living with schizophrenia, who am I?
Prior to my diagnoses of schizophrenia I was a very intense person. I was very serious, uptight, and too private. I was also very religious, in fact, too religious to be around most people. I preferred one-on-one settings. Moreover, I was unapproachable. I was suspicious of even my closest friends. For example, when friends asked me questions such as how I was acquainted with another friend, I got suspicious of their intentions. I ran people away! Even something simple like when a friend told an associate I was planning to transfer to another school, which I was, I just knew this friend was gossiping about me, and became very defensive, backed completely off! At that point, it was mutual. I was petty, to say the least. I would get upset at little bitty things. The illness made me withdraw from a lot of social settings I would have otherwise been interested in. I did not withdraw completely though, I still had a life, but preferred to participate in things where I stood alone, such as cross country. Don't get me wrong, I very much had a life, my mother to this day never understood how I was so involved with so many different activities.
Today, I am still a spiritual individual. I am very loving, more open, expressive, and interested in new and existing relationships. I do not trip on the small stuff. I want to be involved in more events. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and concerns with family and friends. My mother tells me I am a daughter again! Who am I? I am still learning.
Prior to my diagnoses of schizophrenia I was a very intense person. I was very serious, uptight, and too private. I was also very religious, in fact, too religious to be around most people. I preferred one-on-one settings. Moreover, I was unapproachable. I was suspicious of even my closest friends. For example, when friends asked me questions such as how I was acquainted with another friend, I got suspicious of their intentions. I ran people away! Even something simple like when a friend told an associate I was planning to transfer to another school, which I was, I just knew this friend was gossiping about me, and became very defensive, backed completely off! At that point, it was mutual. I was petty, to say the least. I would get upset at little bitty things. The illness made me withdraw from a lot of social settings I would have otherwise been interested in. I did not withdraw completely though, I still had a life, but preferred to participate in things where I stood alone, such as cross country. Don't get me wrong, I very much had a life, my mother to this day never understood how I was so involved with so many different activities.
Today, I am still a spiritual individual. I am very loving, more open, expressive, and interested in new and existing relationships. I do not trip on the small stuff. I want to be involved in more events. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and concerns with family and friends. My mother tells me I am a daughter again! Who am I? I am still learning.
Comments
Just revisited your blog, from Schizophrenia Connection, and was so glad I did.
Recently there have been both young people, and parents of young people, in early stages of coping with first psychosis and desperately looking for help/info and hope, in their changed circumstances. Do you think you might post a brief update or link there to your blog??... I am sure it would be much appreciated by many.
Thanks, Chris UK