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Understanding Oneself (click here to go to the site with the picture)

This describes schizophrenia...My psychotic break led to my institutionalization. At first, when I was institutionalized I did not understand what was going on. I didn't do the things I like to do because I didn't feel motivated or because of fear.

For example, I love to write I keep a journal, however, while I was away I was scared to write because somebody, anybody, could read my diary, I was paranoid. Also, I was very emotional. My delusions made me believe a member of family hurt my mother and her siblings in their childhood. I was confused and didn't know why or where these peculiar thoughts came from.

I was also hearing voices, it made keeping conversaton with people very difficult. The voices made do strange things. For example, I would get up in the middle of the night and flush all the toilets repeatedly, until a bunkmate would tell me to go back to sleep.

Before I was institutionalized I had trouble concentrating on homework and work assignments. It would take me a long time to complete assignments, I thought I just slow at the time. I did not know that I had adult onset schizophrenia, which disrupts cognitive functions.

A little after a year has passed from my psychotic break and I feel great. I am back doing the things I used to enjoy. I have a better understanding of my illness and myself.

What do you think?


Anonymous said…

I need to speak to you, need help!!!!
Either give me your contact or my no. is 09818576131
Valash said…
Hello, you can email at

Valash said…
Hello, I tried that number earlier, but I couldn't get through. Is it out of the United States?

Anonymous said…
I will definately e-mail you, Yes I stay in India.
If possible you can give me your number, I can reach - not a problem for me.

Valash said…
Sorry for confusion, please forward the email to my personal gmail account at

At 22 you're doing better than most.

It's ashame thta research hasn't progressed to the point of being able to diagnose us when we're young children. It would certainly make our childhood years much easier if we and our parents knew what we were dealing with.

Be proud of yourself and how far you've come.

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