- Ashley Smith
- Atlanta, Georgia, United States
- I was diagnosed with adult onset paranoid schizophrenia at the age of 20... I experienced the ups and downs of mental illness- incarceration, hospitalization, personal care home, outpatient treatment program and clubhouse- but i survived it! Now, I share my life with you of how I am coping with my illness. I hope this blog encourages you to seek PROFESSIONAL help for yourself or a loved one... Please comment. Thank you!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
This describes schizophrenia...My psychotic break led to my institutionalization. At first, when I was institutionalized I did not understand what was going on. I didn't do the things I like to do because I didn't feel motivated or because of fear.
For example, I love to write I keep a journal, however, while I was away I was scared to write because somebody, anybody, could read my diary, I was paranoid. Also, I was very emotional. My delusions made me believe a member of family hurt my mother and her siblings in their childhood. I was confused and didn't know why or where these peculiar thoughts came from.
I was also hearing voices, it made keeping conversaton with people very difficult. The voices made do strange things. For example, I would get up in the middle of the night and flush all the toilets repeatedly, until a bunkmate would tell me to go back to sleep.
Before I was institutionalized I had trouble concentrating on homework and work assignments. It would take me a long time to complete assignments, I thought I just slow at the time. I did not know that I had adult onset schizophrenia, which disrupts cognitive functions.
A little after a year has passed from my psychotic break and I feel great. I am back doing the things I used to enjoy. I have a better understanding of my illness and myself.
What do you think?