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Why I Take My Medicine

Before things got really bad I got into arguments with family and friends. The arguments started from something very small, however, blew up into something big. My emotions were up and down, which led my opponent's emotions to fluctuate. I yelled at my aunt for taking my cell phone, which I later found underneath my bed. This same aunt gave me a job, however, I quit because "we were not getting along." I went off on my sister and accused her of not supporting me, when in fact she is my number one fan. I denied visits from my mother and family, while I was in jail because the voices told me they were not my friends. I lost my best friend because she told an associate I would be switching schools, which I was considering, I accused her of gossiping; I was petty. Schizophrenia can make you irritable and can ruin good relationships.

In school I thought students and professors were gossiping about me. At one point I even thought they were reading my personal emails...While walking to the store one day I thought I saw a man following me. I thought he meant to harm me! I walked into a nearby grocery store and waited till he left. This was a hallucination...I was so paranoid I accused the neighbors of spying on me, and I even confronted them about it. This was embarrassing. It went way too far! Schizophrenia can make you paranoid.

When I was trying to get back home from San Diego to Atlanta, I got deeply confused. I could not distinguish which trolley to get on, and I heard multiple voices. I heard male voices laughing at me. A complete stranger gave me a ride because I looked "disoriented and confused." This same civilian called the police on me in order for me to get help. Schizophrenia can make it hard for you to focus.

My psychotic episode led me to steal a military truck. This is huge! While driving that truck, I hit two people in their cars, they were okay, but it could have been worse. I evaded the police by driving in the opposite flow of traffic. The high speed chase led me to crash into a building head-on, I could have died! Schizophrenia enables you to make poor decisions.

I make a conscious decision to take my medication, not because I have to, but because I want to lead a positive life; not interrupted by police, or arguments with family and friends. I take my medicine because I want to hold on to good relationships, I don't want to be paranoid; I want to be able to function rationally; and I don't want to hear voices...

Why do I take my medicine?...I want to be able to enjoy life to the fullest.

Medication compliance is a life-long routine because there is no cure schizophrenia, however, there is treatment. If I stop taking the medication I have an increased risk for a relapse, another psychotic break, and symptoms will return. My chances of a relapse increase each day I do not take my medication; so far I have accidentally skipped two days total over a span of one year on Abilify. I take pride in the responsibility I carry out every day of my life.


Wow, great post! You're very brave and an excellent role model for a lot of people.
you're wise to take such good care of yourself
BPD in OKC said…
I am bipolar and have borderline personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I know it's not the same as schizophrenia, but it's similar, so I can understand a lot of what you're going through. Medication seems to be the key to get through a lot of mental health issues. I know without medication, I can be "crazy." I hate taking meds, but I know I have to. Sometimes it just sucks, but I want to have a life. I want to be happy. I know the same goes for you too. You deserve to be happy and have a good life, and if it takes medication to help you achieve that, then keep up with taking them. There's so many people that I know who don't take their medications and can't understand why they never feel better. I want to shake some sense into them, or slap them into reality.
Chocolate said…
Hey thanks for checking out my blog! Just here showing some support and I'd like to say that I like what you're doing here. I hope that you keep fighting this and may you help others as well. Take Care and may God Bless you.

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