Paranoid schizophrenia is a subtype of schizophrenia. It consists of paranoid characteristics such as persecutory delusions, thoughts that others are following you, the belief that others are trying to poison you or harm you. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
At the time, I believed my family was against me. I thought my family had contacted friends and told them bad things about me. I believed a relative of mine poisoned me or drugged me which led me to commit a crime. In reality, I committed the crime of taking a military truck as a reaction to my psychosis. In addition to that, I thought this same relative tapped my cell phone and had a device in my phone that monitored my whereabouts.
I even thought peers and professors were conspiring against me. Once, I told a friend: "I could feel people gossiping about me." She looked at me like I was crazy and told me nobody was gossiping about me.
At one point, I thought the neighbors were spying on me and giving reports back to my family. What they would report, I have no idea, I had a life, but it wasn't that interesting being a college student. In fact, I confronted the neighbor and told them not to spy on me, now this incident embarrassed me.
While walking to the store one day I thought I saw a shadow pass me, it was an evil spirit I thought. (I thought I was a prophet and could decipher good spirits from evil spirits in people). I saw a man following me and I got scared. I went into a nearby grocery store and waited till he left. When I left the store I went directly into a nearby restaurant, because I saw the strange man again. I was so scared I asked a complete stranger to give me a ride home, the man I asked was a bus driver. He referred me to a nearby bus stop that runs frequently. Just recently, I realized this was a hallucination.
At the time, I believed my family was against me. I thought my family had contacted friends and told them bad things about me. I believed a relative of mine poisoned me or drugged me which led me to commit a crime. In reality, I committed the crime of taking a military truck as a reaction to my psychosis. In addition to that, I thought this same relative tapped my cell phone and had a device in my phone that monitored my whereabouts.
I even thought peers and professors were conspiring against me. Once, I told a friend: "I could feel people gossiping about me." She looked at me like I was crazy and told me nobody was gossiping about me.
At one point, I thought the neighbors were spying on me and giving reports back to my family. What they would report, I have no idea, I had a life, but it wasn't that interesting being a college student. In fact, I confronted the neighbor and told them not to spy on me, now this incident embarrassed me.
While walking to the store one day I thought I saw a shadow pass me, it was an evil spirit I thought. (I thought I was a prophet and could decipher good spirits from evil spirits in people). I saw a man following me and I got scared. I went into a nearby grocery store and waited till he left. When I left the store I went directly into a nearby restaurant, because I saw the strange man again. I was so scared I asked a complete stranger to give me a ride home, the man I asked was a bus driver. He referred me to a nearby bus stop that runs frequently. Just recently, I realized this was a hallucination.
Comments
Think of me.
http://www.strayblackdog.co.uk
I now take risperdal and everything is back to normal more normal than it has ever been, I am as clear as a bell.
The only symtoms I have now is that I have dreams that are totally weird , not bad dreams , good dreams , I am in a happy place.
I was lucky I had a good career up until I was 40 and managed to buy a house and save some money. Now I am unemployed but the benefits in Ireland are generous and I can live comfortly with some careful budgeting( I was an accountant ).
I would advise anybody to realise they are ill and see a doctor they will point you in the right direction to get specialist help.
Erik Blaire
www.erikblaire.info
I was also diagnosed with PS in early 2008. I had like others all these weird thoughts that people are spying on me and conspiring against me. Everything went back to normal when i started taking my medications.
Sadly after getting over my first break i stopped taking my medications and had another episode , only to loose my job the second time. After taking medications for nearly two years and after finding my job, i thought i am ok and could live without my meds and as a result again went through an episode but due to great family support got over it soon and was able to save my job.
I live in a south asian country and we dont have as such social security here. I am a qualified accountant, which helps me find a job comparatively easily when i lost it twice, but the experience had been harrowing to say the least.
Stories like yours boast our morale and inspire us to live a better life with this challenge.
My advice is to never leave the meds if you have been diagnosed with PS. I am on resperidol
paranoid schizophrenia