Saturday, February 14, 2009

Paranoid Schizophrenia

Paranoid schizophrenia is a subtype of schizophrenia. It consists of paranoid characteristics such as persecutory delusions, thoughts that others are following you, the belief that others are trying to poison you or harm you. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.

At the time, I believed my family was against me. I thought my family had contacted friends and told them bad things about me. I believed a relative of mine poisoned me or drugged me which led me to commit a crime. In reality, I committed the crime of taking a military truck as a reaction to my psychosis. In addition to that, I thought this same relative tapped my cell phone and had a device in my phone that monitored my whereabouts.

I even thought peers and professors were conspiring against me. Once, I told a friend: "I could feel people gossiping about me." She looked at me like I was crazy and told me nobody was gossiping about me.

At one point, I thought the neighbors were spying on me and giving reports back to my family. What they would report, I have no idea, I had a life, but it wasn't that interesting being a college student. In fact, I confronted the neighbor and told them not to spy on me, now this incident embarrassed me.

While walking to the store one day I thought I saw a shadow pass me, it was an evil spirit I thought. (I thought I was a prophet and could decipher good spirits from evil spirits in people). I saw a man following me and I got scared. I went into a nearby grocery store and waited till he left. When I left the store I went directly into a nearby restaurant, because I saw the strange man again. I was so scared I asked a complete stranger to give me a ride home, the man I asked was a bus driver. He referred me to a nearby bus stop that runs frequently. Just recently, I realized this was a hallucination.


Anonymous Drifter said...

Going through a paranoid episode myself as part of my bipolar disorder I can relate to this post. It was a terrifying experience for me. I thought the whole world hated me and the people of my town were gossiping about me. I had all sorts of other bizarre thoughts. Thank God my doctor was able to help me through this.

andrew said...

Bless you Ashley
Think of me.

Anonymous said...

My 1st "break" thought I was a prophet. In health class I thought that everything they were teaching I had. I tought I had cancer, polio, you name I had it. I've known for years that I was delusional back then. My 2nd "break" I thought I uncovered a murder scene. Another delusion. I am much better these days.

Anonymous said...

Panic attacks are on the rise. Not only has the common man suffered unimaginable emotional stress owing to these panic attacks, the rise in panic attack cases have also led people to change their lifestyles for the worse. This is no less than surrendering yourself to the worst case scenario. Stress needs to be tackled with care so that you can once again lead a normal life. Here are a few pros and cons attached to your anxiety related stress.

Anonymous said...

Keep trusting the mental health professionals. Not trying to make anybody go through a scizophrenic episode but google H.A.R.R.P. mind control, victims of mind control, victims of demon possion (secretly mind control and voice hearers). There is an alarming amount of people becoming paranoid scizophrenics around the world. Many of you would say see a doctor but what if our illness is man made and a biological weapon about to be unleashed on the world to create mass murder through mind control on the public. If you don't think what you hear is mind control, google mind control symptoms (bet you'll understand after reading).

Anonymous said...

I have PS , I live in Ireland. I wasnt diagnosed until I was 43 , yes 43. I was hearing voices , having halucinations and thinking I had special powers.
I now take risperdal and everything is back to normal more normal than it has ever been, I am as clear as a bell.
The only symtoms I have now is that I have dreams that are totally weird , not bad dreams , good dreams , I am in a happy place.
I was lucky I had a good career up until I was 40 and managed to buy a house and save some money. Now I am unemployed but the benefits in Ireland are generous and I can live comfortly with some careful budgeting( I was an accountant ).
I would advise anybody to realise they are ill and see a doctor they will point you in the right direction to get specialist help.

Anonymous said...

Hello. My story is simple. I was traumatized in two religions: Catholic and Allopathic. I wrote, designed, and published a book partly as an act of self-healing. Following this I had a powerful healing experience. So in the interest of helping others I'm giving my book away FREE as an online read and pdf download.

Erik Blaire

Gledwood said...

From my experience most schizophrenics experience at least some paranoia, but in paranoid schizophrenia the "delusions" are more fixed, so that they can be told as a story. Rather than just paranoid ideation that comes and goes. I'm schizoaffective but my schizophrenic symptoms are more focused around hallucinations and "voices" than delusions. I have been paranoid, but most of the paranoia was fleeting. I don't remember holding on to any "delusion" for more than one day... My friend has paranoid schizophrenia and when he was ill he thought he was going back to ancient Rome to fight the gladiators. His "delusions" are grandiose rather than persecutory, yet he's still labelled "paranoid"... weird, huh?

Anonymous said...

So great to find such success stories and read them.

I was also diagnosed with PS in early 2008. I had like others all these weird thoughts that people are spying on me and conspiring against me. Everything went back to normal when i started taking my medications.
Sadly after getting over my first break i stopped taking my medications and had another episode , only to loose my job the second time. After taking medications for nearly two years and after finding my job, i thought i am ok and could live without my meds and as a result again went through an episode but due to great family support got over it soon and was able to save my job.
I live in a south asian country and we dont have as such social security here. I am a qualified accountant, which helps me find a job comparatively easily when i lost it twice, but the experience had been harrowing to say the least.
Stories like yours boast our morale and inspire us to live a better life with this challenge.
My advice is to never leave the meds if you have been diagnosed with PS. I am on resperidol

Faisy Faisy said...

Most schizophrenics shy away from making friends and barely keep in touch with their family. They also tend to drift away from reality quite frequently. As of now, there are about five different types of schizophrenia that have been classified.
paranoid schizophrenia

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