Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Other Side of the Storm (Count Your Blessings)

While I was displaying different symptoms of adult onset schizophrenia I did not have any idea I had a mental illness. Gradually, I became paranoid, not speaking much or thinking clearly, catatonic, and hallucinating, etc. While I was sick I thought the world was focused on me and I thought I was being watched and critiqued about everything. Also, I thought everybody was against me and were demons.

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia less than a couple of years ago. Now that I am aware of my illness I can try to overcome it through various treatments and support.

I know I am blessed because I have the ability to live again! I can hold a conversation again, walk down the street without fear of people watching me and/or following me, and eat my food knowing that nobody is trying to poison me. I can reprioritize my activities to do the things I want to do like fulfill my obligations to an internship, finish college, and do the things I enjoy doing.

God has opened my mind up to what life can be like with and without treatment. I am blessed to have insight into my illness, and to have the resources to treat it. I am thankful for advancements in medication for mental illness. Medication performs miracles, it makes a difference like night and day.

I am thankful for the support I am getting. Online support reassures me that I am not alone in this. I can connect with a lot of different people, and also help them by sharing my experience. My immediate family shows continuous support in various ways that makes me feel appreciated.

Finally, I am blessed to be a child of God. To know that He loves me and gave me another chance to enjoy life. My symptoms are under control with the help of medication and I no longer see or sense demons. He gave me a wonderful family, treatment team, and online support family to share my experience with. It could have been worse, but I will look at the whole experience as a blessing from God...


Anonymous said...

I'm a firm believer in meds. I know meds help.

It's good to see a shining example of recovery. You have overcome alot.

Your success is inspiring.

Thank you for sharing part of your life.

Anonymous Drifter said...

What a positive post. Keeping positive I think is a key element in your recovery.

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