Skip to main content

The Other Side of the Storm (Count Your Blessings)

While I was displaying different symptoms of adult onset schizophrenia I did not have any idea I had a mental illness. Gradually, I became paranoid, not speaking much or thinking clearly, catatonic, and hallucinating, etc. While I was sick I thought the world was focused on me and I thought I was being watched and critiqued about everything. Also, I thought everybody was against me and were demons.

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia less than a couple of years ago. Now that I am aware of my illness I can try to overcome it through various treatments and support.

I know I am blessed because I have the ability to live again! I can hold a conversation again, walk down the street without fear of people watching me and/or following me, and eat my food knowing that nobody is trying to poison me. I can reprioritize my activities to do the things I want to do like fulfill my obligations to an internship, finish college, and do the things I enjoy doing.

God has opened my mind up to what life can be like with and without treatment. I am blessed to have insight into my illness, and to have the resources to treat it. I am thankful for advancements in medication for mental illness. Medication performs miracles, it makes a difference like night and day.

I am thankful for the support I am getting. Online support reassures me that I am not alone in this. I can connect with a lot of different people, and also help them by sharing my experience. My immediate family shows continuous support in various ways that makes me feel appreciated.

Finally, I am blessed to be a child of God. To know that He loves me and gave me another chance to enjoy life. My symptoms are under control with the help of medication and I no longer see or sense demons. He gave me a wonderful family, treatment team, and online support family to share my experience with. It could have been worse, but I will look at the whole experience as a blessing from God...

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm a firm believer in meds. I know meds help.

It's good to see a shining example of recovery. You have overcome alot.

Your success is inspiring.

Thank you for sharing part of your life.
Laura said…
What a positive post. Keeping positive I think is a key element in your recovery.

Popular posts from this blog

Buddhism, My Mental Health & My Happiness by Jennifer L. Myers

Jennifer L. Myers is author of the blog, Never Give Up: Buddhism, Family, & Schizophrenia . Jennifer earned her masters in Urban and Environmental Policy from Tufts University and her undergraduate from UC Santa Cruz. She has experience working with the U.S. Peace corps in the Dominic Republic, environmental non-profits, and teaching. Currently, she is working on her memoir, Never Give Up: Buddhism, Family, & Schizophrenia. The following is her experience... Buddhism, My Mental Health & Happiness by Jennifer L. Myers When I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2002 I had already been practicing Buddhism with the SGI (Soka Gakkai International) for 14 years. Still, I didn't have a very strong practice at the time. I attended local discussion meetings regularly, but I didn't spend much time chanting on a daily basis. It wasn't until the symptoms of schizophrenia - the voices whispering in my head, the screaming and yelling I heard outside my apartm...

Lack of Trust: A Byproduct of My Mental Illness

In this entry, I'll share my experiences with Schizophrenia in regards to feeling lack of trust in others, paranoia, and isolation.... I remember my many episodes with Schizophrenia where I felt uneasy because of lack of trust in others. In the past, isolation was a giant bullying me around. Sometimes my mind would take me to a place of fear, hurt, and an unsettling spirit, which started with what seemed like a strange look, or a different feeling around an individual, when in reality it was another symptom of my undiagnosed illness- paranoia. My paranoia was rampant and dictated my life prior to experiencing a crisis, which led me to jail and into forced treatment and to receive an official diagnosis of Schizophrenia in 2007. In other words, my illness created enemies in my mind. For instance, I once believed my favorite kin was against me and I felt like she wanted me to fail, and I eventually thought she was conspiring to harm me. However, she never said anything to imply these ...

Fear to Openness about Medication

I am concerned that I may be slipping into depression that may get worse if untreated. Prior to the birth of my child I never had a bout with depression, but as my body changed so did my hormones and my susceptibility to depression. A few months ago I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and at the time I knew I needed extra support from my my treatment team. I knew I needed to focus on my mental health because my anxiety level was up and down, it was difficult to concentrate, and I felt extremely overwhelmed and afraid my mental illness would rear its ugly head and try to destroy my recovery accomplishments. I spoke my therapist who contacted my doctor and let them know I was coming in the next morning as a walk-in, which I did and we tweaked my medication. Now, its hard to focus and to carry out minor assignments, sometimes I feel anxious for no reason, I am extremely tired and sleep more than usual, and I feel like I am on a downward spiral. Yet, I have reason to be. I have ...