Skip to main content

Understanding Oneself (click here to go to the site with the picture)




This describes schizophrenia...My psychotic break led to my institutionalization. At first, when I was institutionalized I did not understand what was going on. I didn't do the things I like to do because I didn't feel motivated or because of fear.

For example, I love to write I keep a journal, however, while I was away I was scared to write because somebody, anybody, could read my diary, I was paranoid. Also, I was very emotional. My delusions made me believe a member of family hurt my mother and her siblings in their childhood. I was confused and didn't know why or where these peculiar thoughts came from.

I was also hearing voices, it made keeping conversaton with people very difficult. The voices made do strange things. For example, I would get up in the middle of the night and flush all the toilets repeatedly, until a bunkmate would tell me to go back to sleep.

Before I was institutionalized I had trouble concentrating on homework and work assignments. It would take me a long time to complete assignments, I thought I just slow at the time. I did not know that I had adult onset schizophrenia, which disrupts cognitive functions.

A little after a year has passed from my psychotic break and I feel great. I am back doing the things I used to enjoy. I have a better understanding of my illness and myself.

What do you think?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi,

I need to speak to you, need help!!!!
Either give me your contact or my no. is 09818576131
Ashley Smith said…
Hello, you can email at overcomingschizophrenia-blog@googlegroups.com

Ashley
Ashley Smith said…
Hello, I tried that number earlier, but I couldn't get through. Is it out of the United States?

Ashley
Anonymous said…
I will definately e-mail you, Yes I stay in India.
If possible you can give me your number, I can reach - not a problem for me.

Thanks.
Ashley Smith said…
Sorry for confusion, please forward the email to my personal gmail account at valash08@gmail.com.

Ashley
I Am Who I Am said…
At 22 you're doing better than most.

It's ashame thta research hasn't progressed to the point of being able to diagnose us when we're young children. It would certainly make our childhood years much easier if we and our parents knew what we were dealing with.

Be proud of yourself and how far you've come.

Popular posts from this blog

Religious Preoccupation

After a talk, a woman asked me if my faith contributed to my recovery because she noticed that I mentioned it throughout my speech. In addition to that, she told me that she observed people with faith as having a better outcome in their mental health recovery. First, I came from a family with Christian values. My faith in God started to get intense during the latter years of high school, which in my opinion, is when I started having symptoms. In my experience religion plays a major role in my mental health- its delusions, its coping skills, and in my recovery. In medical terms they call my religious rituals and delusions "religious preoccupation." Before I was diagnosed I was highly religious. In fact, I wanted to be an evangelist and to go to a Christian college. I would read my Bible for several hours a day throughout the day, listen to hymns, and meditate. Sometimes I would ignore people if they wanted my attention while I was meditating I was in such deep thought. Also, I...

The Path that God Chose for Me

I am not upset that I have schizophrenia, this is the life God chose for me. The other day I was telling my mother I am glad I took a break from school, but I wish I had taken it sooner so that I could have recognized my illness sooner. She reminded me that everything happens for a reason, and that had I took a break sooner I would not have been able to know my full potential in college and in life. I went to college and got really involved in it through sports, internships, and mentoring peers. I was involved in so many things, school, church, home, friends, family, you name it! She was right, I am glad I took the path I took. I did not always have schizophrenia, but now that I have it I will work hard to overcome it. I try not to use the word schizophrenic because that identifies the person by their illness and that isn't fair. I am Ashley and I have schizophrenia. I will not let it limit my potential or define who I am. I can and will overcome these symptoms with medication, the...

Learning more about my Symptoms and Diagnosis

A few weeks ago I asked the question: "Mania or Something Else?" ... Well, I got an answer to my question, plus some! I visited my doctor a couple of weeks ago and he confirmed I was experiencing "hypo-mania," which is what fellow blogger assumed I was experiencing. To my understanding hypo-mania is similar to mania however not as extreme where incidents lead to harsh consequences like arrests. When I was in this state of mind I was obsessed with working on my laptop, I blogged more frequently than usual, and I felt like I was on an upward swing, which was a little unusual, this lasted for about a week and then quickly spiraled down into irritability. After sharing how I was feeling with my doctor we tweaked my medication... I am glad I have a better understanding of myself, now I know how to identify my hypo-mania moments! However, my discussion with my doctor lead to another indept discussion- I shared previous moments of hypo-mania which as a result m...